sexy jesus: bikes,books and buildings

This is why I am so amazed to say that in the last year, The Cooper-Hewitt Design Museum has placed itself just below the Met in my mental list of my favorite places in the world. This isn't a list of my favorite museums either, it just so happens that two of favorite places to be are repositories for old junk. A bit like my apartment. As far as junk heaps go, Cooper-Hewitt and the Met couldn't be any more different. Cooper-Hewitt is tiny. You could fit the entire place, grounds and all, in the Egyptian wing of the Met where they have the Temple of Dendur.  The collections at The Met are comprised of mostly old items. Some  of the employees at the Met are older than pieces on display at C-H. Sure, C-H has its' fair share of older items, but there are many things to be seen that are contemporary, and even some prototypes, so really they're things from the future! Architecturally speaking, The Met is somewhat of a schizphrenic shambles. It's a patchwork of old and new buildings, donated wings with elements of classic and modern buildings tossed in for good measure. It's workmanlike and utilitarian because they desperately need the space. C-H is housed entirely in the former Andrew Carnegie Mansion, which is at 91st Street and 5th Avenue. The mansion is the perfect place to house an elegant collection that is linked together solely by the principal of good design. The idea that if you are going to bother building something, you should bother to build it right. Carnegie's mansion was also an engineering marvel when it was completed in 1902. It was the first residential construction to be erected using structural steel to build the frame, and one of the first to have an Otis elevator.
Normally, this is the part of my blog where I start to critque the Carnegie Mansion nail by nail and cornice by cornice. Today I'm going to head down a slightly different path (don't worry, you'll get my overly opinionated analysis of C-H buildings sometime soon in a different post).
Every three years a bunch of smart pants designers get together and choose amongst themselves what they think are the most interesting things going on in the world of design. There are two key concepts here. One, they use design in its' broadest sense; the exhibit has clothing, household goods, toys, models, electronic whiz-bang gizmo's and structural materials. My Italian grandmother was say, 'A brische and a brosche': a little bit of this, a little bit of that. The panel that chooses what's on display don't necesarily pick what is the 'best' in a conventional sense. They choose items that are interesting for one reason or another. I can attest tho this because quite a few of the exhibits were broken from being over examined, so they aren't the greatest designs. I give them a lot of credit for not necessarily choosing what is 'hot' right now, but going with there gut feeling for objects they clearly enjoy. This year's show, titled Design Life Now, is a gathering of items and concepts  that are currently out in the world. From the second you turn the corner onto 91st Street, you know something very cool is going on. The front of the mansion is covered in brightly colored flowers from sidewalk to roof in random, occasionally overlapping patterns. The light poles, fences and walls are inundated with cool signs that feature various items featured in the exhibition, like one of my favorite, that ubiquitous creepy cartoon rabbit, Dunny. Granted, I'm extremely prejudiced towards Coney Island (it's where I met my wife), and I can never pass up a chance to mention it,  but there are cool signs with the iconic parachute jump all up and down 5th Avenue proclaiming the exhibition.

Here is the part where I would normally begin to describe the fantastic outfits, gadgets, posters, robots, creatures, tentacles, interactive screens and the other indescribable and bewildering devices that make up the Design Life Now exhibition. I'm dying to give my opinion on the see-though folding kayak (it rocks), Thom Browne's highwater suit pants (sexy if you have the legs to pull it off) and the Wall of I-Pod History (Wow! I can't believe we carried around those huge 1st Gen I-Pod's with glee, they're bricks, how 1999). Instead of describing and filtering the wondrous toys on display at Cooper-Hewitt, I'm going to instead rob them of there intellectual property. Instead of talking about someone else's Design Awards, I'm going to have my own. This way, I'm encouraging all of you folks to take a trip over to Cooper-Hewitt and see for yourself what's going on, while at the same time I can brag about my own good taste and introduce you to some brilliant designs you may never have heard of. What's even better is there's some crossover, because a few of my favorite objects are also lurking around the Carnegie Mansion.
I believe it's more or less impossible to describe what exactly good design is. People much smarter and more eloquent than I have written entire books on the subject and they still haven't come up with a passable answer. My criteria for something to win my good design award is pretty simple. It has to be something that I own,use and enjoy. Yeah, I'm sure Maserati's are wonderfully designed and engineered cars, but I don't have one. Hell,I don't even really know how to drive. So there's nothing on this list you won't find me rolling with on the R Train on a regular basis. It keeps things honest. The next rule is it has to do what it was born to do. Sure, Tall Bikes look a treat, but they're hard to pedal, hard to ride, don't get you where you're going any faster than walking and are dangerous as hell. Pretty but useless disqualifies items from my list. It has to be elegant. Elegance is hard to define as well, but it's a case of, 'I know it when I see it'. Elegant in form, elegant in function and elegant in looks.                                                         
The last time that I owned or wore a watch it was a Swatch, with one of those rubber 'face protecting' guards that looked like a colored washer. Swatches were considered new and 'wild' at the time, to be paired with Skidz pants and a fanny pack. I have never liked the idea of being reminded of times passage constantly a few  inches from my eyes. I have also never found a watch that is cool enough for me to enjoy looking at constantly, but with a clean enough design that I would wear it every day. During a recent trip to Alessi, where I spend a large portion of my lunch breaks, I discovered the perfect watch. Alessi's Kaj watch designed by Karim Rashid (who also designed the flagship Alessi store where I found this watch). The Kaj is simple enough that it goes with just about anything I'm wearing. You can get it wet. If,(and if you're me)when I break it, Alessi will replace it. It is really inexpensive for a watch by a fantastically talented designer. More than anything, it looks really brilliant. I constantly get compliments whenever people look down at what's on my wrist. I have a black one, but it comes in quite a few other cool colors as well, the pink being especially super-fly. This is the watch that got me to start wearing the time on my wrist after 19 years going without.

Since time immemorial, I've been carrying a basic JanSport backpack. I've probably completely worn out 7 or 8 of them over the years because I'm never without my  bag. Carrying a bag at all times is basic New York City survival gear, plus I'm a packrat. I started to notice that the amount of crap I was carrying around had reached absurd levels, and I could never find what I needed. Not littering is one  of my few civic duties I take seriously,so instead of trying to locate garbage can (which have become scarce on the streets) I would throw gum wrappers and scraps of paper in my bag along with any other detritus that might turn out to useful one day, like old Village Voice's. I decided to get myself a smaller, cooler, more 'grown up' bag to carry around the city. After a lot of searching around, I found this Jack Spade Messenger Bag and it's perfect. It's quite compact: just 14" X 4" X 9.5", so it's big enough for a notebook, some magazines, water, pens and a book. That's it, the basics. It's small size keeps me from loading it up with garbage I don't need to carry around. It's a foolproof organizational tool that actually works. It's made of some type of very sturdy impregnated canvas-nylon, with a waterproof inner liner and steel buckles. The canvas has a rough texture you can feel, and reminds me of the old Army backpacks. The Velcro patches that hold the bag closed are enormous, so there's no chance of my things flying out on the subway, and if someone tries to rummage through your bag as you navigate the Bosch-like nightmare that is Canal Street you will hear and feel the Velcro being opened. The seams on this bag are actually finished very neatly, you can tell this things isn't coming apart. There are some pen pockets, an inside zipper pocket for anything really important, and an I-Pod headphone jack and pocket, which is a very cool feature. I especially  like the open front pocket that is right at the top when you open it up, it's perfect for my cellphone and Blackberry so I can grab them right away if they're ringing. In the looks department it's very sleek, almost to the point of being unremarkable. It just has a tiny little Jack Spade patch, which says 'Greene St.', which I like because that's where I work. When it gets dirty, which all bags you drag around NYC eventually do, you just wipe it down with a damp rag,and it's good as new. This works very well; I was surprised how clean the bag got with a little water and a sponge. Jack Spade bags aren't cheap, but they aren't much more than any other decent messenger bag, and much cheaper than any of the other designer bags that aren't half as sturdy. When bag shopping I checked out a similarly sized Prada messenger bag that was made of cheap-o nylon with cool features and it was double the price. Don't get me wrong, i don't mind shelling out for quality, and I worship my Prada Driving shoes which were far from cheap. This bag was double what my clearly superior Jack Spade bag costs. I hate when companies that normally make quality stuff slap there label on junk and coast on the goodwill of their customers. my Jack Spade bag is a cool looking, extremely functional, stripped down bag that helps me stay clutter free.

To many people, a pen is a pen. It's something you buy a dozen at a time, for as cheap as possible from Staples. When you have a pen in your hand for as many hours as I do, you start to notice the huge differences between a good pen and a crappy one. At this point in my life I've experimented with thousands of pens. I've written with everything from ultra fancy Mont Blanc pens (sorry...'writing instruments') to 20 for a buck dollar store specials that contain .000007 milliters of ink and have springs that become eye poking projectiles the second time you try to click it open. No other pen I've written with can touch the one's made by the Japanese design collective Muji.Their Gel Ink Ball Point Pens are very comfortable to hold. The writing tip retracts inside the body of the pen, so you don't get broken points and leaking ink all over the inside of your bag. They actually use a quality spring, so the pen doesn't break long before the ink runs out, which tends to drive me crazy. They have a sturdy little clip for attaching them to the inside of your bag, or to the strap on your Moleskine Notebooks. They are available in six different colors, including some fun ones like purple and green. The ink goes on smooth without smudging, and dries very quickly. The clear body of the  pens lets you see how much ink is left, and looks very techy for a pen. Additionally, they have little stickers that are filled with cool looking Japanese writing that I can't read. The best thing to hold your Muji pens, is the clear plastic Muji Pen case. It holds four pens, snaps shut, is clear so you can 
see what pens you have with you,and is practically indestructible. What separates Muji in a big way from other contemporary design groups is the fact that there products are dirt cheap. There is really no other well designed products out in the world available for as little money as the items Muji produces. My English friends tell me there is a Muji on every corner in the UK, and Muji is hugely popular across the pond. Muji even designs and builds homes in Japan! Sadly,Muji hasn't quite made it to every corner here in the USA. I get all my Muji goodness at The MOMA Design Store, and rarely have to spend more than $2 or $3 dollars on any item.

I mention my love of all things Victorian quite often. One great Victorian custom that I wish would make a comeback is the concept of The Calling Card. 'Miss Dickinson, while you were out taking a turn around the Pump-Room, Red Whiskers paid a call. He left his calling card for you Miss'. Now that's sexy. Sure,most of us have business cards, but what about cards for purely social reasons? This is a wonderful concept. There's something sweet and endearing about meeting a new person and have them hand you a card with all their contact information that doesn't center on what they do for a living. Flickr, the amazing, free, photo sharing site and Moo, have helped bring back calling cards with a 21st Century twist. Moo allows you to choose any of your photos from Flickr, and have them printed up as terrific, high quality mini calling cards. You can choose as many images as you like  for the front side, and Moo will give you an equally distributed amount of each image in your pack of cards. Even though they are tiny, Moo provides enough room on the backside for all your contact infomation: name, mobile number, Blackberry, email and blog adress. They also give you the option of putting a big Creative Commons license symbol on the rear as well, to show people you meet that you support the open and fair exchange of information. The bright pictures and odd size of the cards really make them stand out from the drab business cards that most people use. Also, if you put a photo of yourself on the

front, like I did, people you meet will actually remember who you are later on. Of course you can't have calling cards without a calling card case, and Muji strikes again with the perfect little box for your Moo cards. The Muji Thin Aluminum Card Case is simple and very tough. I have an Aluminum fetish, probably from years of riding and building bikes, so this box feels great to the touch. It catches shut with a simple,non-mechanical clasp and holds about 50 of my Moo calling cards. Since it's aluminum, you know  it's basically indestructible and your cards will be safe if you are mobbed by members of the opposite sex impressed with your Victorian charm. I love pulling this out to grab a card, as everyone seems to think it's fancy and expensive, and I love to explain that the opposite is true. As with everything Muji designs, this case is dirt, dirt cheap. Comparable business card cases, whose design isn't half as nice, cost 5 times as much. Cheers again to Muji for making good design available to the masses!  The Moo calling cards are also very inexpensive, and simple to setup through your Flickr account. I can also attest to the fact that they have top notch customer service. I had a problem getting my cards delivered, and Moo was on it from the second I figured out that there was a problem. That's a rare commodity in the world today. As rare as a gentleman with his own calling cards.

Remember the days of Floppy Disks? No? I guess I am getting old. Once upon a time, like when I was in college, and men wore powdered wigs and monocles, everyone carried around their documents, pictures and character files for the video game Wasteland on floppy disks. These behemoths could a wopping 1.44 megabytes of information. They also loved to stop working whenever you needed to access something important, like a great poem you'd just written or a downloaded list of cheats for Castlevania. Really, the only good thing about floppy disks is that they were portable. My  Verbatim U3 USB Drive is a geeky little piece of wizardry that I never leave home without. Contained on this microscopic hunk of silicon are several collections of my poetry, a copy of my resume, a couple dozen photos of my various engineering projects, a few photos of myself (you never know when you may need to whip up a profile for something on the fly), a couple of E-Books, a video of me giving a poetry performance, a copy of my phone book and address book, as well as a fully functional open source word processor and a copy of Firefox that loads right from this drive. More or less, I have a stripped down version of my Macbook with all my favorite and important documents that takes up almost no space and works with nearly any computer on the planet. I like to think of this little drive as my electronic Swiss Army Knife, because it can get me out of almost any computing jam, any time or anywhere. If someone would like a copy of one of my poems (probably a mentally ill pervert...) I can just give them one on the spot. If I meet someone interested in one of my bicycle frame designs, I can pull up the photos and plans immediately. If I need a phone number, it's there. Conversely, if there's a document, photo, song or webpage I'd like to hang onto for later, I can just pop it in my drive and make a copy. I like my Verbatim drive because it's large (1 GB), it has a cap for the plug side, a handy lanyard for attaching it to the inside of my bag so it doesn't get lost, and it was absurdly cheap. Actually it was free, I bartered building a set of wheels for someone and they gave me the drive. It is cheap at a store though. I don't know why everyone isn't carrying these around at all times.

Being prolific is what sets apart the true geniuses in all branches of the arts. There's no question that Modigliani was a brilliant painter, and a genius, no doubt. However, he will never be spoken about in the same way that people talk about Rembrandt or Jane Austen. Why? Because he treated himself like shit, got sick and died before he could finish too many paintings (then his pregnant wife flung herself off the roof of their Paris apartment, but that's a whole 'nother tragedy for another day). No other architect in the modern age was as prolific as Richard Neutra. People talk quite a bit of smack about modern architects,proclaiming the genius of various people like Zaha Hadid. The problem with Hadid, and a slew of other modern architects is THEY HAVEN'T BUILT ANYTHING! Well, not nothing, but they have very, very little standing. He lived from 1892-1970, and he did one thing his entire life. He built. And built. And Built.  And built. The 'complete works' of most architects would amount to a few drawings scribbled on dinner napkin, or maybe a brochure similar to one you would recieve when looking for a cheesy place to go sightseeing. Neutra: Complete Works is an enormous book; it measures 18.7 x 13.2 x 2.4 inches,weighs 14 pounds and may be Taschen's finest publishing moment (Disclaimer: for the sake of full disclosure I feel like I have to say that I do work for Taschen). It's a monster physically, for someone who was a monster intellectually. You may not know Neutra by name, but I guarantee you know his work. He is the look of 'Golden Age' California. Very rarely does a book do  its' subject justice, if that subject is

an artist, but this book not only gives Neutra the respect he deserves, but actually enhances his reputation. This book is a masterwork of art in its' own right. From the introduction written by his architect son and partner, Dion Neutra, to the copious and beautiful photos by Julius Shulman,it is superbly executed. The sheer size of the book and the quality of the reproductions make the photos worth staring at for ages, while the detailed plans and architectural drawings help give a deeper understanding of what Neutra was all about. I love books. In fact I love books so much I have somewhere around 4,000 of them in my tiny Brooklyn apartment. Out of all the books that I own, and have owned in the past, this is definitely in my top three, and is definitely number one when talking about the pure aesthetic qualities of the physical book itself. Neutra: The Complete Works is a book that is just perfect in ever way, and as a book junkie and connoisseur, I do not make that claim glibly. Sadly, this book has been out of print for a few years, and if you can track down a copy for sale it's going to cost you a ton.

I enjoy my I-Pod quite a bit, but truthfully there is no substitute for listening to the radio. I'm not being nostalgic either. There's something special about radio occuring in real time that separates the experience from that of listening to pre-recorded music.  Here in NYC, we're lucky enough to get a decent signal from WFMU (91.1), which has some of the most brilliant entertainment available in any format today, as well as our local NPR station WNYC (93.9). Those two station alone make it worth my while to have a radio. I realized that the junkie tuner built into my all in one stereo just wasn't cutting it, when I discovered this gorgeous beauty pictured on your left. The Dolmen Mini Radio designed by Rene Adda is so absolutely stunning that I would keep it on my desk if it did absolutely nothing. However, it is a radio as well as a funky looking box. A damn good radio at that. The controls are simple, with shiny chrome buttons for on and off,AM or FM, as well as volume up and down.It's is a very simple device without a million useless features that have parts that can break. The speaker is surrounded by more chrome, and a gigantic tuning knob sits on top of the shiny chrome plate at its' top. The antenna goes up and down to make it easy to take the Dolmen along with you. Which is further simplified by the fact that it runs on batteries. Having lived through both 9/11 in close proximity and The Great New York City Blackout (during which I passed a kidney stone) I can really appreciate the usefulness of a battery powered radio. Really though? It's the color. Have you ever seen a blue so fantastic as the blue on this radio? I'll admit, sometimes I just want to lick it, because I know anything edible this color blue would just taste so good. Like the wonderfully blue Boo-Berry Cereal. I saw the color of this radio from across the store, before I even knew it was a radio, but my mind was made up. I would have that blue thing, whatever it was! It makes me happy every morning just to see it hanging out on my desk, playing NPR while I drink my coffee.

Riding a bicycle has been my primary means of transportation my entire life. I've never had a car. Getting around New York City by bicycle is hyper efficient, and once you've honed your survival skills it's actually a swinging good time. Getting around by bike presents a whole series of challenges. Where do I lock my bike up? What kind of lock do I use (simple,the Kryptonite NYC Fugghedabout Chain and a Guard Gate  Keyed padlock)? What kind of tires? What's the one burning questions that's always on every riders mind? What do I wear? I really have pondered this question for years, and until recently I could never find the perfect pair of riding pants. Chrome's Shins Riding Knickers are the ultimate pair of urban riding pants. To start with they are shants - short pants. They come to about mid calf,so they don't get caught in the drivetrain, but long enough to protect your legs from scratches and gunk. They are also the correct length so you don't look like an asshole when you're off the bike. The have a very, very thin chamois. [Emily Dickinson's Educational Tip of the Day: A chamois, pronounces sham-mee, is basically an ass pad that is usually built into 'real', ie spandex, ie embarrassing cycling shorts to prevent excess wear and tear on your booty during long rides. Yes, I wear those shorts when I'm on my road bike.]
Because the chamois is much thinner than the type usually found in cycling shorts, it works while the pants are able to remain baggy, you can wear underwear if you so choose (although the last time I wore a pair at any time they had Yoda on them), and when you are off the bike getting a beer or shopping for books, you will be spared the ridicule of people thinking you are wearing an adult diaper. These shants are slightly stretchy thanks to the crazy nylon/spandex blend they are made out of, wind proof yet breathable and water resistant. Amazingly, if you get these suckers drenched in a rainstorm, they dry out cartoonishly fast. Almost like magic. However, it's the little details only a rider can appreciate that make these pants truly perfect. They are cut higher in the back, than in the front so your ass doesn't hang out of the back when you stand up on the pedals or get down in the drops. That is pure genius. The belt loops are enormous, and ridiculously reinforced so you can ride around all day with your Kryptonite chain pulling on your belt and not rip the belt loops off. Genius. The pockets zip closed
so that your keys, change and i.d. don't go flying onto Madison Avenue when you have to jam on the breaks to avoid being crushed between Mister Softee and some douche in a Bentley talking on a cell phone and fingering his trophy wife. Most riders in NYC know it's a good idea to blackout the logoes on your bike with tape or reflective strips,so everyone thinks your Sachs is a $20 Huffy, and Chrome has gone through the trouble of doing that for you with your shants. There is just one very tiny, tasteful, embroidered logo on the front of one pant leg. In this day and age of 'branding' every single inch of everything, it's great to find a company that lets the quality of its' products, not a bunch of tacky logos do its' advertising. The best thing about my Chrome Shants is that I can lock up my bike, walk into a bar and hang out all night, and not only will no one suspect that I'm wearing cycling clothes, but I'll get compliments on the 'cool shorts' I'm wearing. That NEVER happens with cycling clothes.

Cell phones and PDA's are a lot like guns. They can be incredibly useful, but in the wrong hands can cause absolute horror. Also like firearms, some people just shouldn't be allowed to posses or use them. In the past, I have had a terrible habit of not returning phone calls, messages and emails. Don't take it personally gang, sometimes I just couldn't get near my computer or figure out how my voice mail works. Since getting my paws on a Blackberry 8700c I've been hitting people back almost immediately. The email setup works perfectly, and I didn't have to bother with some corny absurdly long email address that has 'BlackBerry'  in it. It just works with my Gmail account. Having instant access to my email whenever I feel like it is terrific. I could never get into instant messaging or email on my mobile before, due to the fact that you had to type by pressing the number keys again and again until you found the correct letter (or until you click past it, and have to go through all the letters again, which is what happens to me). The full keyboard on the 8700 is what makes my Blackberry a workable part of my life, not just an expensive toy. The contact list on my Blackberry is able to sync up with my Macbook through Bluetooth, which has removed the paranoia I've been wrestling with for years: losing my phone which contains the only copy of the phone numbers of every person I know. I sleep better at night knowing my phone book exists in more than one place in case of disaster (like dropping my phone at a Lightning Bolt show and never seeing it again). There is a web browser that actually works, and you can view standard web pages with pictures and they look really, really good. I don't do too much web surfing 'On The Go', but it does come in handy when I'm trying to find a certain bar in a neighborhood I don't know (Canarsie, anyone?). The notepad is wild. If I get inspiration of some kind, I can just type it in, the send it Bluetooth to my Macbook for editing and revisions in Word. Time wasting is well taken care of with an MP3 Player, Zork and a NES Emulator. Oh, yeah, it's a mobile phone too.
I really searched high and low for a case for my Blackberry. I'm serious. I dragged my wife in and out of least 20 different stores in Manhattan and Brooklyn searching for a case. It seems the only case available for this Blackberry is that corny 'Mr. Businessman' fake leather holster with the belt clip. I'd rather just use a brown paper bag, thanks. I'm sure there is some turn of phrase or hackneyed saying for this, but I found a brilliant case five doors down where I work, which was of course the last place I looked. Mt good friends over at BAPE hooked me up with this out of control blue ape camo Blackberry case. Like every other thing A bathing Ape makes, it looks too sick for words, and there are probably only 4 of them in the entire universe. I'll vainly admit I like being the only kid on the block with a camo BAPE Blackberry case. It gets oohs, ahhhs and 'Where'd you get thats?' every time I take it out of my bag.
Let's face it folks, America is a bunch of fatties. I don't begrudge anyone else their right to be as huge as they like (although I do think it's fairly sad that heart disease related to obesity is the number killer of Americans). Go ahead and grab that fourth half-gallon of heavy cream for your cereal. What I do hate is the fact that nearly every piece of clothing, in every store in the US is sized for fat people. I'm tall (6'1") and pretty thin (160 pounds)and it is like  Khe San trying to find a pair of pants that fit me correctly. Every pair I try on are either way too baggy and big around the waist, or if I can find a pair that fits my waist they are too short. All pants seem sized to fit pear shaped men with huge guts (and these men would seem to love pleats as well). Cue the Busby Berkly whirling stage sets, and in steps my hero J. Lindberg. My J. Lindberg pants fit me so perfectly, it is as if Gepetto, g-d of tailors, descended from on high and and sewed them directly on to my legs. Neither too baggy, nor too tight, they have that custom tailored look and feel. Every seam and stitch is perfect and there is not a stray thread anywhere. These pants have two metal buckles on the inside of the waist band for good holding power, but they can't be seen on the 

outside of the pants. The same goes for the beautiful mint green lining. The lining is perfectly sewn in, in a rich creamy color, but no one can see it. These pants are so perfect, it's enough for only the wearer to know it is there. When you have these pants on, the empty pockets lay absolutely flush against your body and there is no bulge whatsoever. That is the mark of a truly fine pair of pants. I love these pants so much that I purchased several pairs because I was paranoid about ruining or losing a pair, and I just can't possibly get along without them. This is a very scary way to feel about a pair of pants, but I have never been lucky enough to own pants like this.
'Lost Girls' is a brilliant masterwork by Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie which depicts the erotic adventures of three young women. These aren't just any three young women. The three volumes of this graphic novel focus on Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz, Wendy Darling from Peter Pan and Alice from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland as they journey into their sexual awakenings. Physically, the three hardcover, slip cased volumes are quite dramatic looking with gold leaf all over the place, lush full color illustrated pages and heavyweight paper, and uniformly lovely dust jackets. It's the type of book that would get pride of place on any shelf, and begs to be stared at. What's between the covers will just stop you dead in your tracks. Genius is a rare commodity, and a genius doing his best work is a rare force of nature that absolutely alters everything it contacts. 'Lost Girls' is an example of such a phenomenon at work. From the minute I laid eyes on this set I knew I was on to something special, and it is indeed special. This will most likely be remembered as the best work from one of the greatest writers of comics to ever live.

Ladies and Gentlemen, there you have it. The first installment of Emily Dickinson's Design-One-ennial. I hope you enjoyed my extremely biased opinions of the physical objects that I can't live without. I really enjoyed writing this one up,and it gave me a lot of time to think about my relationships with physical objects in the world around me. Many people will either dismiss the ideas here as shallow and materialistic, just as another group of people will think I have bad taste, or that and there are better,more costly objects available out in the bworld. They'd both be  correct. For me personally, I enjoy having things around me that are well designed, and the only definition that I can come up with for good design is that it is something who's physical presence brings you some measure of joy while you use it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, and any other subject so feel free to email and blow up my Blackberry or comment here until your fingers fall off. Until next time...

Cheers
Michael (aka Sexy Jesus aka Emily Dickinson)

emilydickinson at gmail dott com

If you take the N/R Train to get to the cemetery, you'll pass a strange little building on the corner opposite the gates. This is the McGovern-Weir Florist, and this building is unique in the Five Boroughs. Legend has it that this glass topped, slightly soaring and beautifully ramshackle structure was brought to Brooklyn after the 1904 St. Louis World's Fair.

The sign, as well as the verdigris copper roof is brilliant. McGovern-Weir is still a one hundred percent functioning business, so it's easy to slake your thirst for a view of the inside of this building. I'm a sucker for decaying copper.

It's a tidy little building on a somewhat untidy block. Strangely, breaking out a serious looking camera seems to make the natives chatty, and here was no exception. A young father and his kids were throwing around a football, and seemed curious why I was shooting so many frames on their block. Unbidden, he told me the house next door had, 'A long strange history. Oscar Wilde stayed there once.'  That is an odd Victorian coincidence. I haven't been able to verify this. It may be possible, Wilde definetly visited NYC for a while, but the particulars are somewhat vague. Hit me if you know.

'A dreaded sunny day, so meet meet at the cemetery gates. Keats and Yeats are on your side, Wilde is on mine...'  I couldn't resist throwing in that Smiths quote, because it fits perfectly. Green-Wood has an entrance  worthy of the serious business of dying that goes on inside. The gates at the 25th Street entrance, are slightly newer than the rest of the site, having been put into place in 1860's. The pillars are Indiana Limestone, and the iron gates have just received a fantastic restoration by Jurgen Scoda. You will feel quiet and humble as you pass inside. This is architecture with a purpose, to effect the humans that interact with it. This is often missing in our modern environment, we moderns don't like to be humbled so often by our own creations.
The Gatehouse is one of the  best examples of Victorian architecture anywhere in NYC, and possibly anywhere in the United States.Designed by English born architect Richard Upjohn, and built between 1861-1863 every inch of this buildings is beautifully detailed.  Don't forget to look up. Above the entrance ways are well preserved Bas Relief carvings grouped around the theme of Christian resurrection.  This buildings is also home to famous  Brooklyn Parrots, which you can see nesting and wheeling about most of the year.

After passing through the gatehouse, you are no longer in the land of the living. Pop a coin in Charon's hand; you have crossed into the land of the dead.

The Green-Wood Cemetery gets my vote for the most peaceful place anywhere in New York City. Even on clear, beautiful days, it's so quiet you can hear the wind whistling over the tombstones. There isn't a Yoga class that can hold a candle to this place.
If you act like a yahoo, this gent on the left is sure to make an appearance in your dreams.

Situated in a slight dip in the geography is the Green-Wood Chapel. The chapel has recently been restored, and is less creepy than most churches. The doors are usually open for observation and poking around. The outside is somewhat dour, but after all we are in a Victorian Necropolis, but the inside is quite 

inviting. Again, remember to look up. There is an outstanding chandelier hanging from the ceiling that is worth checking out.
I also noticed that an overly chubby pussy cat has

taken up residence in the chapel. This photogenic fellow is one of the living residents of Green-Wood. He appears to have a fan club that takes care of him, and looks to be far from the starving alleycats that are everywhere in Brooklyn.
I'm much more of a dog person,but I figure every graveyard worth its' bodies needs a tabby cat.


As you move away from the gates, you begin to soak in the real character of Green-Wood. It's spare at best, in the best meaning of the word. Sure there are gravestones, but there are  mausoleums as well, which aren't quite so common in the U.S. Each of these free standing tombs is an architectural masterwork in miniature. I'm personally partial to the pyramids. The Victorians were just discovering  Ancient Egypt, and it's surface influence pops up all over Victorian culture, especially with anything having to do with The Dead. The Egyptians had there entire culture pointing towards the afterlife, and the Victorians have taken this same tact in  many ways. Through a strange twist of fate, of once spent quite a bit of time in New Haven Connecticut, where there is an enormous Victorian necropolis, with a giant moniker carved in stone above its' gates that reads, 'And The Dead Shall Rise Again', with some faux Egyptian stonework.
Up on her high horse, we a fantastic statue of Minerva, the Roman goddess of Wisdom and Artifice. Strangely, this isn't the only statue of Minerva in Green-Wood. When they weren't appropriating the Egyptians, they were looking back towards Ancient Rome. Those Victorians.

Overall, the condition of everything at Green-Wood is absolutely stellar. The grave stones, the tombs and the grounds are perfectly kept, and there isn't a shred of litter of vandalism anyplace that I've ever seen there, and I've been wandering around this place for a long, long time. I have always wondered, what happened to my ladies' head here? She doesn't seem to be part of any specific grave site that I  noticed, which may be why her head is missing. Vaguely reminiscent of Winged Victory of Samothrace because of her decapitation, be sure and pay this statue of visit. She isn't much for conversation, things being what they are, but it is an exquisite little piece of art. In the past I have entertained the idea that she may have been constructed without a head, as a nod to the Greeks or Romans.
Up on a little hill, opposite the small pond with the mobs of geese, is an elaborate little temple tomb. Ringing the tomb are some scary, snarling, teeth bearing wolf heads that are worth a close up look. Possibly they were placed on this tomb to scare off evil spirits so the interred could rest in peace?
Even through years of weathering, I wouldn't want to meet this fellow in a dark alley. His teeth are still sharp as hell all these years later.

Graveyards play funny tricks on your mind, and play tricks with light and shadows on your visions. Every now and than you capture a specter with your Nikon.
Here is the shadowy alter -ego of your narrator stalking the paths of the The Green-Wood cemetery to let you know what's going on in NYC.

One feature of Green-Wood that I have always loved are the amazing little signs that delineate the various pathways and roads that criss-cross and ring the whole place. These are much more than ornamental touches. It's terribly easy to get hopelessly lost in here.  I once became so lost in Green-Wood, during the most insane summer deluge, that the rain actually destroyed my notebooks in my backpack and broke my cell phone. If you visit, try to make a mental note of the little signposts that pop up frequently. They are wonderfully made, have quaint yet beautiful names, and are actually useful for navigation.

Here you can see the sun starting to set over the sign for 'Sunset Path'. I really enjoy the sharp edges and spear like protrusions on these signs. They could have been boring little informative rectangles, like we use now all over New York, but they aren't. The Victorians were just better than us.
On the right is a modern grave with a small covered votive. This makes me think of the relics that seem to cover every inch of Italian churches. Looking at pictures of The Dead, while among the dead lends a certain immediacy to living, I think. I agree it is also creepy.

When approaching the crest of the largest hill in Green-Wood, you'll start to make out a terrific panorama of tombs, the lake, and views of Manhattan, Brooklyn and Jersey City on a clear day. At the bottom of the hill is a miniature
Monticello esque round Roman temple.

The siting looking down on this tomb is brilliant. I love looking at it, and I think the notorious cranky
Olmsted and Vaux are looking down with approval. Hey guys, this is laid out much better than your Fort Greene Park, right? Of course you disagree. Well, at some point in the future we'll have quite a bit of time to work this out amongst ourselves fellas.

Just like in the land of the living, in the land of the dead, only the wealthy get to live and build on the shoreline. This chapel, sitting on the shore of the lake, is a fitting monument to the excesses of wealth. The copper doors have an outstanding patina of green verdigris, and the mini cupola on top is a tacky way to display your cash into the afterlife.
It's hard to beat the view though. There are much less beautiful things you could be watching for eternity than this.

The Egyptians definitely thought you could take it with you. The Victorians did as well, but being a bit more civic minded, instead of snuffing out their pets for burial, they settled for nice statues of the same. I really love this hound. Him and his partner are guarding there masters bones for all eternity, remaining perfectly loyal down through the ages. I much prefer this type of eternal guardian to the bloodier Egyptian version. I make certain
to pay these two a visit every time I visit Green-Wood. Be sure to give them a scratch on the ears. They're quite friendly as long as  you don't mess with their master inside.
I'm not sure who's buried in here. It's no one that I know, but between the dogs and the gorgeous Neo-Classical gate, I'm certain he had good taste.

This casting reminds  me of Edwards Byrne-Jones. I imagine its' creator was familiar with his work, at least through prints or engravings.
In Full Metal Jacket, Joker gives a bit narration where he says, "The Dead know only one thing. It is better to be alive". This swan, swimming along and minding his own business, seems to know that better than anyone.

One recurring theme, seen on all manner of tombs and headstones everywhere in Green-Wood, is Freemasonry. Ringing the lake, there is a huge cluster of Masonic graves. Many have the compass and rulers of the Masons. Quite a few others have carvings of the All Seeing Eye. The Masons were a hugely influential force in The Colonies, and all through the Victorian era, and the abundance of symbolic graves pays tribute to this.
I love a good conspiracy as much as the next guy, but not really convinced that they're controlling the world at the moment. Either way, the  Masons are heavily represented here in Brooklyn. This tomb also reminds me of time in New Haven,